ruinedchildhood:

Spongebob is the mother fuckin devil

(via simply-simonne)


watson-jawn-watson:

pyjamazombie:

sherlockedcompanion:

i-make-doodles-lol:

gallifrey-feels:

cosmo-gyral:

Who invented the blow job?

Like, who wakes up one day and thinks “today, I will suck a dick

image

Probably

Definitely. 

Obviously.

It’s history.

I thought this was common knowledge

(via simply-simonne)


parzival221:

shak1ra:

redevoted:

bowserfucker:

oknope:

imagine reading a book of all the lies you’ve told 

IDK what kind of lives you all are leading, but this sounds like the boringest shit. “Yes I sent that email.” “Yeah, I like your outfit.” “I was sick.” “My mom said no” “No I wasn’t crying.” “Yes I read the Terms of Service”

what about a book of all the lies people have told you

Oh how the tables have tabled

Tables have tabled

(via simply-simonne)


vitalizinq:

The human body has 7 trillion nerves and some people manage to get on every single fucking one of them

(via simply-simonne)


malkiewicz:

Synonyms are weird because if you invite someone to your cottage in the forest that just sounds nice and cozy, but if I invite you to my cabin in the woods you’re going to die.

(via simply-simonne)


kingorb:

j5h:

imagine having sex with a ghost and then someone walks into your room and they see your asshole widening and narrowing for no reason

image

(via agnecaiwolf)


elimin8theimpossible:

cricsyxo:

divinedorothy:

egotastical:

divinedorothy:

bisexual people aren’t more likely to cheat in relationships but we are more likely to cheat at cards, while lesbians are most likely to cheat at jenga, and genderqueer people often cheat at mario kart

how the fuck do you cheat at jenga

ask a lesbian

image

this is never not funny

(via agnecaiwolf)


nowheretaylor:

this show is a gift

(via agnecaiwolf)


newcrystalcitysteel:

blackpoquedown:

fucking flawless omg

fucking praise dominos

(via agnecaiwolf)


crossestheyrecoolifyoureintothau:

little-miss-lalonde:

MY LITTLE SISTER JUST RAN INTO MY ROOM AND OPENED THE FUCKING WINDOW AND TRIED TO GET OUT BECAUSE MY OTEHR SISTER WAS PLAYING TAG WITH HER AND SHE DIDN’T WANT TO BE IT.

SHE ALMOST JUMPED OUT OF THE SECOND FLOOR SO SHE WOULDNT GET TAGGED 

Now that’s what I call determination

(via agnecaiwolf)